Motherhood....

Above is me and my 3 blessings. I became a mama at the age of 21. I married my first husband and we waited 3 years to have children. My oldest Andrew William Shelton was often called the most wanted baby. We planned and prepared for him for a long time as I very much desired a family of my own. Andrew is a gift and as my first born will always hold a treasured place in my heart. Andrew very much wanted a sister when he was a young child. We wanted to have years with him to ourselves before expanding our family. He would pray and pray for a sister and than one summer we found out we were pregnant. As my husband went on a missions trip to El Salvador I miscarried that baby. We had already told Andrew that he was going to be a big brother and trying to have his 4 year old heart that it was no longer going to happen wasn't easy. Just about 4 months later we found ourselves expecting again. Jacob Daniel was our next blessing! Jacob was a delight from day one. I used a midwife with Jacob and had the best birth (totally natural) with Jacob. After being married for 10 years and than finding myself divorced I knew that I was very likely done having children. My small quiver seems full to me and I had a peace with being done. I told Trae that the first month we dated. I wanted him to know my heart and to be able to move on if it was a deal breaker for him. He didn't move on. He layed his desire at the foot of the cross and moved on to prepare for all the other aspects of marriage. We married in November of 2005. 3 weeks after we were married I told Trae that I wanted to have a baby with him. Imagine my shock when he said NO. He said that we were just starting out and that it wasn't the right time and that it wouldn't be best for Andrew and Jacob. That merging a family (blended) was big enough and we needed time to adjust. Although I was shocked....I was pleased. I wanted a man that would sacrifice for his family and that is what he was doing. A Godly man lays down his life for his family and this only made me want to bless Trae all the more. In 2008 we wanted to see what the Lord had planned. Within a month or two he said YES and Samuel Ace went from a dream to our 3rd son. Being the mom of a 17, 12 and 7 month old is interesting! I have one that likes to wake up very early and another one that is wanting to talk to the wee hours of the morning. I need the Lord daily to be able to walk out the blessings He has given us. It isn't easy but is anything of great value every easy? I often say I think Motherhood is the hardest job on this planet. I know that I have many more years of mothering ahead of me. I am 39 and still very much need my mom and am so grateful for close relationship with her. I pray that my role as mom blossoms into friendship someday and our years of relationship forge a deep groove in our hearts that time doesn't erase.